Ad Vitam Aut Culpam
by AlmostStranger
Summary: It's a story about two charismatic personifications, who start off their relationship on the wrong foot and what will come out of that. Set in Medieval times, trying to be historically accurate.
1. Chapter 1

So, this was something I once (about 3 years ago) posted on Hetalia Kink Meme as a fill to Prussia/Poland Medieval Ages, but abandoned ot. I'll try to finish it this time. Like stated in descripction I'll try to make it as much historically accurate as I can. This fic doesn't have beta and I'm not native English speaker, so I would be greatful for pointing out any mistakes you'll find. Enjoy! :)

* * *

- Well, Sir, your last shot was perfect!

- Right in the middle of the target! And even without any preparations. You must be the best archer in the whole country, am I right, Sir? - A peal of girlish laughter accompanied by a young man's one filled the chamber. Said man – a slight blond with the face that could easily belong to a woman with big, shining green eyes – took one springy step forward, turned around to face two maidens and bowed a little.

- My ladies, your praises are, like, flattering me much, but, in the same time are making me a little uneasy. Hearing compliments from such a lovely mouths makes me wonder how I can return them. And I believe there are no suitable words to describe your good looks and cleverness. - With this words boy gave a wholehearted smile and added – Shall we eat something now? You must be tired from the sun an-

- Feliks! Here you are! - The boy's speech was rudely interrupted by a middle-aged man with dark bushy beard and moustache. - I've been looking for you whole morning! I have wonderful news! Our problem might be go... gone - His eyes met two, now little annoyed, ladies. - You... You go and do what women do. - A malicious grin appeared on his face. - That's not the kind of conversation for women to hea-

- Sweethearts, could you go to the east salon? -This time it's the blond who cut in. - And prepare some books for our afternoon reading session, I'll join you shortly. - Another one of his bright smiles appeared on his face. - I heard you got a new treasure in your library. - Closely followed by a wink and a little bow. The ladies turned back and left with a quiet „Excuse us".

- So - Feliks spoke again – What's this „wonderful news" you've been talking about? Have you all finally agreed to unite me again? And chosen one ruler? - The boy gave his interlocutor a piercing look. He almost hoped the answer would be „yes". Almost. It'd be too good to be true, but you always should have faith, shouldn't you?

- Well, that's not it. - started Konrad – But I have a solution to our problems with those damn pagans. - A contented smile grew on his face. - I invited The Teutonic Knights over. They'll help us fight with those devils. - The man was looking for some kind of approval to his work, for cheerful smile and simple thanks, but instead, the little blonde was staring at him with a dull expression. At last he spoke.

- You've brought some kind of army of mercenaries to fight for us? Brilliant. - snarled the blond.

- They're not ordinary soldiers of fortune. - said the man harshly. - They're-

- Anyway, should I, like, know them? I think I heard this name somewhere, but I can't really recall where. - Feliks ignored the other man and started to think aloud.

- _Orden der Brüder vom Deutschen Haus Sankt Mariens in Jerusalem_. - Third voice cut in. - Or just Order of Teutonic Knights. And yes, you should know us. Know _me_. I'm very famous, you see. - A slender silhouette slowly loomed out of the door. As the person moved toward Feliks and Konrad, they could make out long white robe and robe with black cross on it. But only when the man was a few steps from Feliks, could the boy notice his grey hair, red eyes and a cocky smirk. - Gilbert Beilshimdt, for commoners. - Two scarlet eyes were piercing person in front of them. Albino moved even closer to the blond as if expecting him to drop to his knees and kiss Gilbert's seal ring in act of completely submission to, without a doubt, the most awesome and powerful person in the whole world. But instead of that, Feliks took a step back, fixed his gaze at albino with confused look and knitted brow. A strange sensation filled his body. It was as though this person had something which belonged to him. He just couldn't tell what exactly it was.

- Królestwo Polskie – at last he spoke – Human name Feliks Łukasiewicz – and held out a hand which met with snarl from the red-eyed. Blond looked at him with astonishment slowly withdrawing his hand.

- Well, if you insist so. - Gilbert's smirk grew wider as he shook this not-awesome country's hand. And with that, Feliks got an epiphany. „Sweet Lord, it's him" was the only thing he could think before abruptly tearing his hand out of Gilbert's grasp and backing away a few steps. Eyes focused on now amused albino, mouth agape.

- Something wrong? - asked bearded man.

- No, no. Everything's totally fine.

- Good, now that you know each other, I excuse myself; I have a meeting with Henryk. We must discuss some more issues. - Not sparing a second glance on either of personifications he spun around and left.

- So, I knew I am hot, but haven't got any idea that I actually can burn. - a sneer smile was back again on Gilbert's face. - Regrettably, I have no interes-

- It's you.

- Wha- Of course it's me, in my very awesome self.

- You're the one that got a bit of my land. What for? Money? Gratitude? Influence? - At first Gilbert had no idea what that boy was talking about. But suddenly, _boom_, and he remembered. Oh yes, yes he had indeed been given some of this fool's land. He stopped listening to Feliks' ranting and got lost in his own thoughts, his trademark smirk never leaving his face. Oh, this is going to be so fucking awesome. If this girlie is whining from losing a little more than a village, what he'll do when he finds out about Gilbert's little amendments to their agreement. Well, this is going to be fun. _So much fun._

- Hey! Are you even listening to me? Or maybe you do not understand advanced Latin? Well, if that's the case, so sorry, but I won't be speaking in your weird language, so not beautiful. - Gilbert let out a mental sigh and widened his grin.

- Naah, I'm not really interested in whatever you are saying, sooo no, I was not listening to you and yeah, I do not care about you and your regrets, sorrows, whatever. - with those words and no proper goodbye procedure he started exiting chamber.

- Wait, where are you manners? Aren't you, like, supposed to show me some respect? Really, I'll be your seigneur in no time and you don't even know common principles of etiquette, you're just like those uncivilized barbarians. - Gilbert stopped and turned around. Disdain in his eyes was almost palpable.

- Well, I think time will show us who is going to be more important and who'll have to pay respects to whom. And since it's not yet official I owe you nothing, _Königreich Polen_. After all Lord's thought are unknown for us.

Albino left Feliks speechless and mad. Furious, you could say. Such impertinence! Personification of Poland could not comprehend how someone so unimportant (ok, he had to admit Teutonic Knights were quite famous, he just forgot all about them before, well, can't blame him, he's got so much going on lately, that stupid decision of Bolesław, wait, what he was thinking about again? Oh, yeah, that damn order) with only a bunch of soldiers and no land (well, hardly no land. He apparently got some, even Feliks') can be so conceited and arrogant. Oh, Feliks is going to be his seigneur. Definitely, after all the agreement is ready and signed. So That Damn Albino is wrong. And Feliks will prove it. And then, after he uses Gilbert to conquer pagans, he'll make him suffer. Oh, no, he wouldn't dare to drive him out of Poland's lands. No, no. It could met with strong opposition, it'd be violation of their agreement, after all. And most important – it'll be just too easy and not very elaborate. Feliks would do anything legal it takes to see the arrogant not personification beg just for the permission to leave his lands. Perhaps he will start from casting high taxes on him. Very high. Yes, Feliks will do that. Because he can. Yeah.

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Author's Notes:

*Konrad - Konrad I of Masovia, duke who invited Teutonic Knights (1225 or 1226) so they could fight with pagans in Prussia. (The peoples who were living there originally are called "Old Prussians" nowadays)

*Feliks' talk about choosing one ruler and uniting him again - At that time Poland was divided between all royal brothers - each of them had a district in which he ruled. There was no central power. Not very good for a country. Those times were full of fights for domination within a country - everyone wanted to have the most of land.

*Henryk - Herman von Salza - Grand Master of Teutonic Knights. I used 'Henryk' because it was said by Konrad, who was Polish and 'Henryk' is polish equivalent.

*Bolesław - Bolesław III Wrymouth - the man who divided Poland.

*Gilbert's amendments in agreement - well, it is said Konrad wanted to give Teutonic Order Chełmno Land (Culmerland) as a fiefdom and incorporate conquered Prussian's land to his own, but it turned out that Teutonic Order got the whole Chełmno Land and everything that they conquered. They had Pope's blessing (in form of papal bull). Everyone thinks that Teutonic Order forged the agreement. I made it so Feliks is yet oblivious of that (after all it's their first meeting, but Gilbert knows all about it. Let's say they planned this all beforehand.

*Latin - everyone spoke Latin at that time. And yes, they are talking in Latin. Except from some of the words.

*Why Feliks refuses to speak in German? I it's funny. In Poland 'Germany' is called 'Niemcy' which probably riginated from word 'niemy' which means 'mute'. Apparently all Slavic tribes thought German tribes couldn't talk - everyone has similar name for Germany. But it's just one of hypothesis.

*Feliks' little epiphany - Teutonic Order was given a village and 15000 morg (1 morg = 1,4 acre) of land before they were invited by Konrad. (it was 1222 and 1224)


	2. Chapter 2

AD VITAM AUT CULPAM 2.

Days have gone by and Feliks got used to ignore Gilbert's attitude, cutting remarks and all odd habits. The only thing that still drove him crazy was that bloody contemptuous smirk of his, which seemed to never ever leave albino's face. Oh, how Feliks wished he'd wipe it away. He could use Gilbert as a practice target, couldn't he? After all his "guest" was very similar to the shooting target – white with red dots, that just happened to be his eyes. There is also another kind of targets – with black in the middle. Gilbert could be mistaken for this one, as well. The cross on his back would make an excellent... Wait, wait, wait! Cross is a symbol of God. Of our Great Lord. Feliks couldn't possibly do any harm to it, even if it'd mean to get rid of that good-for-nothing Albino. Well, he wasn't really good for nothing. Feliks has once seen him practicing fighting with a sword. And he must admit that this damn Krzyżak was not that bad at it. Certainly not as bad as Feliks wished him to be. With his skills he won't die easily in a fight. Well, but accidents do happen in the battles. Who knows what could Prussians be capable of? Cheating must be in their blood, for sure. So, who knows...?

- Oh, dear Lord, forgive me, a sinner. - said blond boy out loud to no one in particular as he was alone in his room. Waking up from his subconscious thinking he became more and more frightened. How could his thoughts wander off onto such subjects? Not only did he want to desecrate a holy symbol but also wished someone a death. (Never mind this someone was a very, very irritating and conceited one.) He was most definitely going to hell now. Just what exactly is this red-eyed demon doing to him? Couple of weeks, maybe months (Feliks has never paid much attention to these units of time, he only counted years) of living together and what? He was an exemplary Catholic not so long ago and now? How did this... wait, demon? Oh, Lord. How could he not notice it before? It all makes perfect sense. That's right. Gilbert Beilshmidt must be a servant of the devil. He totally is. Reaching this conclusion Feliks stood up from his bed and left the room. He had to go to the chapel. He just had to pray, to apologize for his sinful thoughts, to beg for strength to fight the monster which has been around him lately. That-Damn-Albino who made Feliks a sinner doing... just what exactly? Being his cocky self? Feliks moaned. Oh, how easily was he beguiled by devil? Really, where have all his leanings gone?

Suddenly, he heard two loud voices. That made him forget about Gilbert's dealings with devil. His curiosity won. Was someone quarrelling at such a late hour? He made a few steps toward the noise. Just who exactly could it- Oh, right. Who else could be yelling German curses in the middle of the night? Right, only This-Damn-Albino. Knowing one side of the argument, Feliks didn't rush to its place. He wasn't very eager to meet Gilbert, but he went there anyway. No matter how stupid or obnoxious his 'guest' has been, Feliks was still a host. And a bloody great one. So it would be only normal for him to go and 'help' his visitor. Or make him realize how silly he just had been and made a faux pas. And the best thing he can make now is to sincerely apologize. And try very, very hard not to be thrown out of Feliks' manor house. With these pleasant thoughts he passed last bend separating him from noises. But his content didn't last long. Personification of Poland wasn't even imagining that he could witness something like that. Gilbert has pinned one of Feliks' servants to the wall and was punching him in the face. Hard. Poor boy had smashed nose, some of his teeth were missing, blood dripping on his grayish cloths and painting them with red. He wasn't even crying, his face was emotionless. He was mumbling apologies and pleas in Polish over and over again. Finally Feliks snapped out of this weird trance. He had to do something before this poor boy would become a bloody pulp.

- Stop it! - He shouted and run towards the boy's torturer. Without thinking he charged at Gilbert and struck a blow. Then, with a blink of an eye, he jumped to the boy.

- Hey, can you stand up?

- Mmmm... Think sho mashter.

- Ok, so go. As fast as you can. Now.

- But, mashte-

- Go!

Only when the boy disappeared from his sight did Feliks turn to the albino. He was sitting on the floor and rubbing his cheek. 'So, I missed his nose' – thought the blond. And apparently blood on Gilbert's tunic wasn't his. Such a shame. But even looking like that, he was still grinning. That infuriated Feliks even more.

- What the hell were you doing?! Beating one of _my_ servants in _my_ castle! Do you want me to kick you out of my land, better, send thugs after you? And I swear, they won't stop until they hunt you down and bring me back your he-

- So, you can punch, missy, huh? - Feliks' tirade was interrupted.

- Wha- Of course I can! And for the last time, you bloody monster, I am NOT a girl! - Last words were said a lot louder than Feliks actually wanted, but he didn't care. - Just answer my one question. I think it won't be too much even for you. - Feliks took a deep breath before continuing – Why? What had that boy done to you? That you had to freaking beat him? - He stared at the albino, whose smirk disappeared; his lips were now forming a thin line.

- That lowly minion of yours brought me a warm beer. - He spoke at last. - Not even cool. It was fucking warm. So I had to teach him a lesson. Now he'll never forget to cool a beer before giving it to someone. I'm doing him a favor, helping him.

Feliks was struck with a wave of heat. Fury arose within him, he wanted to punch Gilbert, smash his head on the wall, stab him with a dagger... In the same time he felt so powerless, so gullible. No, it wouldn't be right. This stupid Albino, no matter how proud or conceited or even ruthless he is, couldn't possibly have done it for such a trivial thing. It's not how a Catholic treats other. It's inhuman. And what's with his explanation? Help?

- Heeeey, the most awesome person in the whole world to the awestruck dumb-ass. Wake up!

- What? Awestruck? Are you insane?! How... how can you do that? Treat others like pieces of trash, not even a living being? We are supposed to lov-

- Shut up. - Gilbert look clearly pissed. - Shut the hell up. You're being damn loud. Look, I know you were a pagan not so long ago, but you should know some of church's teachings. - His eyes were piercing Feliks.

Of course Feliks knew catholic laws and rules. Very well, one could say. He just couldn't place Gilbert's babble anywhere.

- Have you lost your mind? Or are you just drunk? - Actually only after saying it out loud did Feliks notice Gilbert's faint blush and dull eyes. So that's why he didn't stroke back after Feliks hit him. - Oh, you _totally_ are. Completely sloshed, like the worst scum. - Feliks let his anger speak for him before returning to main topic. - God told us to love. He taught us to respect and to care about every living thing. Not just people, even animals. After all, we are all brothers, his children. You're calling yourself emissary of God. You have name of Holy Mother in yours. But you can't even treat others properly. - Feliks was sure Gilbert would acknowledge this. After all Feliks learnt that from one of the greatest monk's works. It was the right way. He knew it. But instead of an approval, admitting Feliks is right, he heard Gilbert chuckle.

- You got this all wrong. Of course, we are all children of God, but we're not equals. There is a hierarchy, always was, always will be. Alike in Heaven, Earth and Hell - you can find those, who are better, more holy, worthy and so on than others. It's a duty for those, who are blessed with power and wisdom to help the others, who didn't have that much luck. Like I said, I was just helping him. Teaching. Illuminating. - Drunken laugh filled the corridor. - It's a sin to serve a hot beer!

- Sin is the thing you have done to that boy. And your ill thinking.

- Thinking isn't a sin. It's a blessing.

- But you're doing it against God's will!

- Shut up and listen. Is cutting a person's throat open in order to pull out some object he accidentally swallow and slice one's throat so you could take his belongings the same thing?

- No, the first res-

- But you are cutting someone's throat. It hurts.

- First thing saves life, other...

- Yeah. So they're different because of intentions. It's your intention that decides whether something is a sin or not. Even if it all comes down to doing exactly the same thing. - Feliks couldn't deny it was actually true. Gilbert was right, but he still couldn't understand why the boy got beaten.

- So, following this train of thought – Gilbert continued – my doing could be good or bad thing. It'd definitely be a sin to harm your servant because I don't like his face. Or stupidity. Or even lack of manners. But I didn't do it for such a reason. No, I wanted to teach him something really important. Something that could save his life in the future. So it's like the doctor from my little history. Because...

- It's not the same! It- You! - Gilbert was wrong, all wrong.

- Shhh... - Albino made a silencing gesture – Like I was telling you, you may never know who you will serve for. Someone with short temper could have beheaded him in an instant for such an affront. He was lucky he got me. Who generously decided to help him fix tha-

- Stop it! Stop, stop, stop! It's a blasphemy, do you hear me? You are telling blasphemies all the time! - Feliks couldn't stand it anymore. Saying last words he saw Gilbert getting up, moving quickly to his side and then all he felt was a dull pain in the back of his head. He was pinned to the wall. One of albino's hands was strangling him and the other one was placed on the wall, near Feliks' head. Red-eyed leant closer to his ear and hissed.

- I _am_ the emissary of God. Don't you ever try to deny it again, missy. Now, I think you need to go and read some serious books about faith and life. Life isn't just about chattering with ladies, riding horses and being charming. - With those words he took a book from his bosom and pushed it into Feliks hands. After that he just turned back and left silently.

The blond found himself staring at the nothingness in front of him and thinking about Gilbert's reasoning. He wasn't sure how long he had been like that. Then he remembered about the book. "_Ethica seu scito te ipsum_" by Pierre Abelard. He hadn't seen it before. But the author... Abelard. It was definitely familiar to him. He certainly read something by him. After all it wasn't like Gilbert said. Feliks is well read – La Chanson de Roland, The Song of the Nibelungs, Tristan and Isolde, The Bible, works of Plato, The Flowers of saint Francis (which was his favorite one, by the way) – all of this and much, much more were read and owned by him. And it wasn't like he can't be serious; he was when he needed to be. Right now, he was just a little tired. Was it that bad to look for a bit of oblivion and serenity? After that Feliks abandoned the idea of going to chapel and returned straight to his room. He needed to know what is in this book.

It was getting bright. Feliks was lying in his bed wide awake, finished book beside him. Or books, rather. It turned out that apart "_Ethica_" there was another one - "_Sic at Non_". Also by Abelard. Feliks now remembered where he'd seen the author. It's the same man who wrote to Heloise. Their letters are really well-known. Full of love, emotions. But Gilbert's books were different. So academic, hard to read. But interesting – after all they kept Feliks awake for almost whole night. First stated some serious problems about, well, almost everything. That's where Gilbert's wicked way of thinking came. It wasn't bad. Just misinterpreted. Or over-interpreted. Or it was just Gilbert's mind that was sick and corrupted. The second one was a gathering of questions about faith. All of them were left unanswered. To provoke some profound thinking. And Feliks did some thinking. Just not about God. About one particular demon. And something was wrong. Demons do not carry a cross on themselves and do not read or speak about God. And certainly do not make others think about faith. _Or do they?_

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Author's Notes

*Krzyżak - Teutonic Knight

*Gilbert reads Abelard and bases his faith on it. And I know, Abelard wasn't really all holy and catholic, and even was suspected of heresy. (Especially when tried to convince everyone that Plato was a Catholic.) But has never been proved guilty. I thought he would fit into Gilbert's way of thinking. And with "Letters to Heloise" (Forbidden love between teacher and student settled in medieval.) we can see a whole new dimension of one man. Who knows, maybe Gilbert also secretly fancies and longs for something like that? ;)

*Feliks talks about teaching of St Francis of Assisi. The guy who was writing sermons for animals and plants. And he loved everything and everyone.


End file.
